Spotify is running a 30-second audio ad for Immortals, a new sword-and-sandals-and-no-actual-set-locations movie coming out in November.
Making fun of B-grade special-effects vehicles like this one isn’t a fresh joke. But I was so thoroughly impressed by every single word I heard in the trailer that I simply had to go into the Spotify history and listen to it again.
If you put every action-fantasy movie and video game into a blender and hit liquefy, the resulting smooth, undifferentiated gray syrup would be this movie trailer. Literally nothing sticks out, except for the fact that literally nothing sticks out.
[The following is the transcript from the ad. The text in quotes is dialogue from the movie. Non-quoted text is the narrator for the trailer.]