The Vow is the sequel to every romantic comedy ever made


This would be a better poster if she was lying comatose in a hospital bed.

I will likely never see The Vow, which opened last weekend. But I learned this about its premise:

A car accident puts Paige (McAdams) in a coma, and when she wakes up with severe memory loss, her husband Leo (Tatum) works to win her heart again.

This could be the sequel to every romantic comedy ever. At the end of any movie in which two people fall in love and get married, the woman conveniently obtains a coma and the husband has to win her heart again (thus allowing for a rehash of the same movie).

“Shit,” says the husband. “We’ll have to meet cute again! And she’ll probably also consider a pompous and/or mean guy who is obviously not right for her.”

Seriously, with Hollywood so enraptured by sequels, I can’t believe they missed the opportunity to graft this movie onto an existing franchise.

Think about the possibilities:

  • Mr. and Mrs. Smith Take A Vow: Angelina Jolie has a coma, and Brad Pitt has to both win her heart back and explain to her why she has all these assassin skills. It’s 1 part romantic comedy, 1 part Jason Bourne movie.
  • Vow to Drive: Carey Mulligan hits her head, and Ryan Gosling returns to town to quietly make sure she and her son are doing okay. She’s getting harassed by medical bills, and Ryan Gosling ends up killing a bunch of HMO lawyers before leaving town (again).
  • Love Vowed Actually: Every person in the movie falls into a coma and a whole new cast of famous actors and actresses, each playing a doctor, fall in love with their respective patients.
  • We Vowed To Free Willy: Willy hits his head on a submarine, gets an orca concussion, and ends up back in a zoo somehow.
  • E.T.’s Head Hurts: E.T. gets a concussion from a bike accident and in his confusion calls in a distress signal. His species destroys planet Earth.
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