Nation Looking Forward To Day When It Won’t Be Able To Find Iraq On A Map Again

Wilmington, DE – With President Obama declaring the war in Iraq officially over, Americans breathed a sign of relief that they soon would no longer be able to find Iraq on a map again. “I clearly remember the day in January 2002 when I learned Iraq was a country,” said Norman Griswald, a Wilmington accountant. He and other Americans reflected on the brutal realities of nine years spent knowing about a place outside their immediate lives. “Shia cleric Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Ali al-Husayni al-Sistani. Al-Falluja. The Ba’ath Party,” Griswald added somberly. “Jesus, I still know what I’m talking about.” Medical experts say the loss of worldly ignorance Americans suffered during the Iraq War might take days or even weeks to recover from, but given time Americans might again know only that Iraq is one of ten countries with four letters in its name.

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