my phone loves Ubaldo Jimenez


On April 17th, 2010, Ubaldo Jimenez pitched a no-hitter against the Atlanta Braves.  My friend Zack and I owned him on our shared fantasy baseball team.  I don’t remember what I was doing, but Zack and I weren’t in the same place, and we kept texting each other about the no-hitter as it progressed.

Somehow, my 5-year-old Motorola non-smart phone was paying particular attention that day.  Now, my phone seeks any possible opportunity to guess that the word I’m trying to text is ‘Jimenez’ or ‘Ubaldo.’  This is despite not texting that name even once in the past year.

I get 3/4ths of the way through ‘kind’ and it becomes ‘JIMENEZ.’  I get 3 letters into ‘table’ or ‘vacation’ and my phone leaps eagerly to suggest ‘UBALDO.’  Yet my phone still hasn’t learned ‘Fairmount’ or ‘Haverford’ or various curse words no matter how many times I write them.

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