Dallas, TX – The NFL announced that the Dallas Cowboys will perform during the halftime show of Super Bowl XLV on February 6th. The Cowboys, a football team based in Valley Ranch, Texas, will entertain the expected 90,000 attendees with a choreographed routine set to music. “The Dallas Cowboys are about spectacle,” said the troupe leader, a Mr. Jerral Jones (age 68, ret.). “They’re a perfect fit for the halftime show. We’ve got some real fun things planned.” The Cowboys’ signature routine involves one squad member (usually a man) tossing a football through his legs to a second member standing behind him (also usually a man). That second Cowboy then pretends to hand the ball to a fellow running past, but instead throws the football anywhere from ten to sixty yards in the direction of yet another performer running full steam. That Cowboy sometimes catches it. In an effort to bolster ticket sales, the NFL also announced that fans will be able to watch the Super Bowl’s vaunted commercials on the Cowboys (unrelated) Stadium’s two-mile-long jumbotron.