Domino’s Pizza Finishes Laying In Provisions For Winter


Ann Arbor, MI – Just ahead of the first big winter storm, Domino’s Pizza announced it had finished laying in provisions for the winter.  CEO J. Patrick Doyle took off his coonskin hat and addressed the media concerning the newly-food-conscious pizza chain’s winter stores.  “We got potatoes, spaghetti squash, and the parsnips came in real nice,” he said, pausing to stoke the conference room’s wood stove.  “Young Turner is laid up with trench foot so we may be short on Cheesy Bread, but our CFO caught a brace of hares out by the crik.”  Doyle said the Domino’s winter menu will feature “exciting” family-ready meals involving potatoes and turnips, and the traditional Domino’s Winter Venison Poppers will be back.  Doyle asked customers to be patient when placing delivery orders, as Molly hurt her paw and can’t pull the sled as fast as she used to.

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