48 year old Jamie Moyer underwent Tommy John surgery Wednesday in an attempt to pitch in the majors next year. Obviously, this is a movie:
Plot outline: 48 year old major league pitcher Jamie Moyer (William H. Macy) gets Tommy John surgery in an attempt to pitch another year. The doctor (Rob Corddry) tells him that he’s never done a surgery on such an old man before, and there are risks.
The surgery goes wrong. Jamie recovers to find that the tendons in his arm are a little too tight. The result? He can throw a baseball 100 mph. Perfect, right?
One problem: Jamie pitched off his change-up. He doesn’t know how to be a pitcher who throws 100 mph. All of his pitches are 100 mph. He can’t pitch like this. He walks every batter he faces in spring training, and, dejected, leaves the team.
Jamie gets a job as a traffic cop, where his ability to quickly wave cars along makes him a hero. Meanwhile, his Seattle Mariners are struggling without him. Then one day, he gets hit by a car while on the job. The car is driven by martial arts actor Jet Li (Ichiro Suzuki), who tells him to believe in his dreams. His arm is hurt, and he can’t throw 100 mph anymore. Perfect.
Star Mariner outfielder Ichiro Suzuki (Jet Li) tells Jamie that they need him back. Jamie joins up with the Mariners just in time to help them get to the playoffs. His fastball tops out at 80 mph. THE END