Bad Beer Diary 1


You may be familiar with the image below.  It is from a recent Miller Lite ad campaign featuring men whose love of Miller Lite is the dominant motivating force in their lives.  The underlying logic, I suspect, is that guys relate to this feeling.  So let us take a peek into the life of this Everyman and how his love of Miller Lite affects his life off camera.

Dear My Diary,

I got in trouble at work again for drinking Miller Lite at lunch.  I tried to explain to the shift manager that it was the perfect compliment to a five dollar footlong (five!  five!  five dollar foot long! haha), but he said if I drank on the job again I’d be fired.  Why don’t people understand?

I thought of another way ML can be awesome.  If you had a hangover, you could put two cold, refreshing bottles against each of your eyes and I bet it would make you feel better.

Tiffany is mad at me again.  She keeps asking really hard hypo hypath those make-believe questions.  She says she wants us to be honest in our relationship, but then she gets all mad and won’t feel better until I buy her flowers.  And the flowers need to be bigger than last time, so it’s getting pretty expensive.  Fortunately after she left Kyle and Dwayne came by the bar and we drank more delicious ML.  I love my buds.

Oh, sorry, I was just reading over what I wrote, and that first part makes it sound like my idea is to put two bottles against each of your eyes.  That wouldn’t work.  I mean one bottle per eye.

Okay, it’s bed time.  Gotta go break the seal.  I wonder how much ML you’d have to drink for your piss to taste like ML?  That’d be crazy.

~Trent

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2 thoughts on “Bad Beer Diary 1

  1. Pingback: Cold Activated Morons | My Web Presence

  2. Pingback: Beer Commercials: A Rumination On Homophobia And Reverse-Wish-Fulfillment | My Web Presence

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